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Writer's pictureStacy Ruse, LPC
Sep 87 min read

Demystifying Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy: A Comprehensive Guide


In recent years, Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy has gained widespread recognition for its transformative approach to healing trauma, emotional challenges, and inner conflicts. One of its key contributions is helping individuals connect to their core Self-energy and learn how to lead their lives from this empowered, self-aware space. While IFS is becoming more well-known, many people are still unsure about what it involves and how it works. This blog aims to demystify IFS therapy by explaining its core concepts and benefits, and shedding light on how it can foster lasting mental health and well-being.


What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a form of psychotherapy developed in the 1980s by Dr. Richard Schwartz. It is based on the premise that every individual has a system of sub-personalities or "parts" within their mind, each with its own unique thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. These parts interact internally, much like members of a family do. Some parts are protective, others are vulnerable, and some hold emotional wounds or trauma.


IFS has evolved beyond being just an evidence-based psychotherapy model; it has become a new paradigm that coaches, healers, corporations, groups, and individuals can use to heal, connect, and communicate more effectively.


At the heart of IFS therapy is the idea that no part of our psyche is inherently bad or needs to be eliminated. Instead, healing occurs when we understand and appreciate the different parts of ourselves, allowing for deeper self-awareness and harmony within our internal system. Central to this process is the power of the Self—a calm, compassionate, and wise core energy within us. When we lead from this Self, we can foster healing and guide our parts toward balance and integration, creating a more authentic and empowered way of being.



The Core Components of IFS Therapy

IFS therapy revolves around two key ideas: parts and the Self.

1. Parts

Our minds are made up of different parts, which can be categorized into three main types:

  • Exiles: These are the vulnerable and wounded parts of ourselves, often carrying pain, shame, or trauma from past experiences, as well as intergenerational and cultural burdens. They are "exiled" because they hold intense emotions and sensations that we find too overwhelming or uncomfortable to confront, leading us to push them out of conscious awareness.

  • Managers: These parts work tirelessly—often overworking—to control or suppress our inner world in an effort to protect us from pain. They manage our daily lives in socially acceptable ways, ensuring that exiled parts—those carrying painful emotions or trauma—remain hidden. Managers are the parts that often declare, "Never again," vowing to prevent painful experiences from repeating. While they regulate our thoughts, actions, and behaviors to avoid discomfort, their control can limit our emotional freedom and leave us feeling exhausted.

  • Firefighters: When the emotions, sensations, and memories held by exiles break through the barriers created by managers, firefighters step in with reactive, often unwanted, and less socially acceptable behaviors to "escape the pain at all costs." These parts are frequently misunderstood, yet they play a crucial role in protecting us from overwhelming emotions. Their actions can manifest as addictions, outbursts, or other impulsive and self-destructive behaviors, all aimed at quickly extinguishing the emotional fire and offering temporary relief.

2. The Self

In contrast to the parts, IFS therapy emphasizes the presence of the Self, which is not just another part but the core of our being. The Self embodies qualities known as the 8 C's: calm, compassion, curiosity, courage, clarity, connection, creativity, and confidence. I have extended these qualities to include the collective 3 C's, representing evolving consciousness, collaboration, and community.



According to IFS theory, everyone has access to this higher state of Self, which can lead and heal the parts when approached with openness and understanding. These qualities can be experienced in varying degrees—ranging from subtle to full embodiment—and with awareness, we can deepen our connection to the Self over time.


How Does IFS Therapy Work?

IFS therapy involves guiding individuals or groups through a process of getting to know and communicating with their parts. Here's a general breakdown of how the therapy typically works:

  1. Establishing a Safe Space: The therapist creates a sacred space by embodying their own Self-energy, guiding the client in accessing their Self—a place of curiosity and non-judgment. If the client is blended with their parts and unable to access Self-energy, the therapist continues to offer their own Self-energy, using the 5 P's: patience, preciseness, persistence, perspective, and playfulness. This approach allows the client to explore at their own pace, without any pressure or agenda from the therapist. This foundation fosters a "safe enough" environment where parts can be explored and understood without fear or shame.

  2. Identifying and Understanding Parts: The therapist and client collaborate to identify and map out which parts are active and influencing thoughts or behaviors. This process involves interoceptive awareness, the ability to focus inward and observe thoughts, emotions, body sensations, voices, images, memories, and feelings—each of which can serve as a trailhead leading to parts. One core technique in IFS is "Unblending," which involves several steps: finding a part, focusing in on it, fleshing it out through questions, asking, "How do you feel towards this part?" (to promote feeling towards it), befriending the part(s), and identifying their fears and concerns. This process requires taking the necessary time to truly listen to the parts and understand their fears, desires, and protective roles.

  3. Building Trust: Through compassionate inquiry and the extension of Self-energy—both from the therapist and, as much as possible, from the client—the client gradually builds trust with their parts. By acknowledging and validating the emotions and experiences of these parts, and by truly listening to their concerns and needs, the client can transform the relationship they have with their inner world over time. This process fosters a deeper connection and promotes healing within the internal system.

  4. Healing Exiles: Once the protective parts (managers and firefighters) trust that the client’s Self is strong enough to handle the emotional pain carried by exiled parts, they become more willing to step back. In the IFS model, the client’s Self-energy is seen as the most powerful healing force, and deep healing begins when the Self connects directly with parts. This connection allows the client to work with exiled parts, unburdening the pain and trauma they carry. Often frozen in 'trauma-time,' these parts are healed through the IFS process of Unburdening, which includes: witnessing the exile's story fully, retrieving the exile from the past, unburdening the pain, inviting in new gifts and resources, and integrating the work for lasting impact. This process not only heals exiled parts but also brings relief to protective parts, freeing them from their extreme roles and allowing them to find balance

  5. Achieving Internal Harmony: Over time, IFS therapy aims to create a balanced and harmonious internal system, where parts and Self connect and collaborate. When parts are no longer trapped in extreme roles and feel supported by the Self, individuals experience increased emotional resilience, self-compassion, and inner peace.



What Issues Can IFS Therapy Address?

IFS therapy is a versatile approach that can be beneficial for a wide range of emotional and psychological challenges, including:

  • Trauma and PTSD: Many of the exiled parts in IFS hold traumatic memories, making it a valuable tool for working with trauma survivors.

  • Anxiety and Depression: By addressing the internal conflicts between protective and wounded parts, IFS helps alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression.

  • Addiction and Impulse Control: Firefighters often manifest as addictive or impulsive behaviors. IFS helps individuals understand the root cause of these behaviors, enabling healthier coping strategies.

  • Relationship Issues: IFS promotes self-awareness, helping people improve their relationships by understanding how their parts interact with others.

  • Self-Esteem and Personal Growth: IFS encourages individuals to cultivate compassion for all parts of themselves, leading to greater self-acceptance and personal growth.


The Benefits of IFS Therapy

IFS therapy is unique in its depth of being a compassionate, wholistic, and non-pathologizing approach. Some of its key benefits include:

  • Increased Self-Compassion: IFS fosters a deep sense of compassion for all parts of the self, even those that are seen as problematic or negative.

  • Greater Emotional Balance: By harmonizing internal parts, individuals can manage their emotions more effectively, reducing inner turmoil.

  • Empowerment and Self-Leadership: IFS encourages people to become the leader of their internal system, which promotes a sense of control and empowerment over one’s thoughts and behaviors.

  • Long-Lasting Healing: IFS doesn’t just address surface-level symptoms but works to heal the root causes of emotional and psychological issues, leading to more sustainable well-being.


Is IFS Therapy Right for You?

While IFS therapy can be helpful for many, it may not be suitable for everyone. It is particularly effective for individuals who are open to exploring their inner world and are willing to engage with different parts of themselves. Those with significant trauma or emotional pain may find the process of interacting with exiled parts challenging, but the gentle, patient, and compassionate nature of IFS often makes it a safe and nurturing approach.


Conclusion

Internal Family Systems therapy offers a powerful and compassionate way to understand and heal the different parts of ourselves. By embracing all aspects of our internal system, IFS helps individuals move toward greater self-awareness, emotional freedom, and lasting mental well-being.


If you’re curious about IFS therapy, consulting a trained therapist can be a great way to explore how this innovative approach might help you on your healing journey. Try looking at IFS Institute Directory or Psychology Today in your area.


If you are a therapist looking to learn or deepen your knowledge in IFS, Stacy Ruse, LPC, RYT, IFS & EMDR Consultant offers clinical trainings, workshops, and consultation.



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With love, AGLOW (Aglow Counseling & Aglow Yoga)

Stacy Ruse, LPC, RYT, EMDR & IFS Consultant




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AGLOW is a global hub for therapists and individuals, led by trauma expert Stacy Ruse, LPC. Offering trainings, courses, consultations, and counseling, AGLOW specializes in EMDR, IFS, Yoga, and Transpersonal therapies. With the newly added AglowYoga providing free practices, AGLOW inspires healing and growth for both therapists and individuals worldwide.


Stacy Ruse, LPC, RYT, is a respected leader in mental health, blending her expertise as an Evergreen EMDR and IFS-Institute consultant with her role as a Registered Yoga Teacher. As the founder of Aglow Counseling, Stacy integrates EMDR, IFS, and Somatic therapies with a transpersonal approach, creating a unique space for deep healing.


Her holistic philosophy honors the mind-body-spirit connection, empowering individuals to tap into their resilience and embark on transformative self-discovery. A recognized expert in trauma recovery, Stacy’s influence spans nationally and internationally as a trainer and consultant, offering trauma-informed, evidence-based care that fosters healing and personal growth.



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