In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, the power of self-energy cannot be in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. Still, the influence of self-energy is profound and indispensable. As therapists, our ability to engage with clients from a place of Self-energy—marked by calm, compassion, and curiosity—shapes the entire therapeutic experience. This approach is crucial at the beginning of therapy or a session and remains essential throughout every stage of the healing process.
When we consistently come from Self, we create a safe'r', trusting, and open therapuetic environment. At the outset, this approach helps establish a foundation of connection and security, inviting clients to explore their inner worlds more easily. Self-energy extends beyond the initial stages of therapy, whether you and your client are navigating the complexities of deep-seated trauma, working through intense internal conflicts, or working towards connecting with self-leadership, the presence of the therapist's Self-energy becomes a constant and stabilizing force.
At each stage of therapy, speaking from Self allows us to meet clients where they are, providing a compassionate and nonjudgmental space for their parts to be seen, heard, and understood. This consistent engagement from Self-energy supports the unblending of parts and empowers clients to cultivate their own Self-energy. As clients begin to access and lead from the Self, they find more clarity, confidence, and compassion.
Self-energy essentially transforms the therapeutic relationship into a intentional, meaningful, and collaborative healing journey towards self-actualization. By maintaining a strong connection to our own Self-energy and guiding clients to do the same, we lay the groundwork for deep and lasting change, ensuring therapy is effective and profoundly healing at every stage.
The Importance of Speaking from Self-Energy in IFS Therapy
Intentionally starting a session from Self-energy contributs to a more compassionate and sacred therapeutic process that can greatly enhance the following:
Establishing a Safe Therapeutic Relationship: Trust is the foundation of any successful therapeutic journey. When we speak from Self-energy, we embody the qualities of calmness, curiosity, and compassion, which naturally creates a safe and welcoming space for the client. This helps clients feel seen, heard, and accepted—essential elements for building a strong therapeutic alliance.
Understanding Resistance as Protection: It's not uncommon for protector parts of the client to be hesitant, and even restistant, to relaxing or unblending at the beginning of therapy. By consistently embodying Self-energy and connecting, we can gently ease their concerns. When protectors feel appreciated and understood, they become more willing to allow for deeper exploration of the client's inner world.
Supporting Insight Work: The Insight Steps in IFS are crucial for building the client's distress tolerance and capacity to navigate complex inner experiences. Speaking from Self-energy facilitates these steps by helping clients feel supported as they notice, name, and engage with their parts.
Handling Polarizations and Overwhelm: In cases where the client experiences intense internal polarizations or overwhelming emotions, maintaining Self-energy allows us to hold space for all parts of the client. Addressing inner conflict helps de-escalate intense emotions and provides models for the client to remain calm and centered in internal strife.
Steps to IFS Insight Work
As we guide our clients through IFS therapy, specific steps help to cultivate resilency, insight, and empower wanted changes. Here's a breakdown of these steps:
Therapist's Self-Energy: The journey begins with you. It's vital to learn how to ground and practice connecting to Self-energy. The Self is the heart and soul of effective IFS therapy. Our presence, when anchored in a sense of calm and compassion serves as a stabilizing foundation for the client, setting the stage for the entire session.
Insight Steps:
Notice: Guide your clients to become aware of their internal experience, whether a thought, feeling, or sensation. This step is about building awareness, or interoception, a key component of IFS therapy.
Name: Encourage your clients to describe what they're noticing without explicitly labeling parts. Naming can help them start to connect with their inner experience without overwhelm.
Curiosity: Help your client invite in curiosity about the experience, this allows clients to engage with their parts nonjudgmentally, opening the door to deeper understanding and connection.
Appreciation: Even when a protective part isn't not ready to relax or unblend, its crucial to express gratitude for its role and desire to protect you. Acknowledging the protector's intentions can reduce defensiveness, paving the way for more collaborative in the future.
Patience: Healing is a process for all of us, and it's important to recognize when your client and their parts may not be ready for more for the next step. Modeling and accepting the clients pace, being patient and open, honors the whole system.
The Goal: Unblending Parts and Building Self-Energy in IFS Therapy
The ultimate aim of speaking from Self-energy and guiding clients through the Insight Steps is to help them unblend their parts and cultivate their own Self-energy. As clients develop a stronger connection to their Self, they become more capable of leading their internal system with calm, clarity, and compassion.
In the IFS model, self-energy qualities are included in the 8 C's: Calmness, curiosity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity, clarity, and connectedness. However, to expand on this foundation, I (Stacy Ruse, LPC) have added three more essential qualities: Community, Consciousness, and Collaboration.
The additional three C's emphasize the importance of connection for and beyond the individual, recognizing that healing and growth intertwine with our relationships, awareness of the larger world, and ability to work together toward shared goals.
Community: Healing within a supportive community enhances the therapeutic process, providing a network of care that reinforces the client's journey toward self-leadership.
Consciousness: Developing a broader awareness of oneself and one's place in the world fosters deeper insight and integration within the therapeutic process.
Collaboration: Working together within the internal system and with external support is key to sustaining progress and ensuring that the client's healing journey is holistic and inclusive.
When you openly explore and integrate any of the 11 C's into the therapeutic process, it can help your clients have a more comprehensive and connected experience of the Self, and allows more ease and confidence for the healing process to unfold naturally and organically.
Conclusion
Speaking from Self-energy is a technique and it's a way of being that can have a huge impact the therapeutic process. Whether we're helping clients build distress tolerance, navigate internal polarizations, or establish a safe enough space at the beginning of therapy, our Self-energy is a necessary tool. By grounding ourselves in this energy and guiding clients through the Insight Steps, we pave the way for deep and lasting healing, helping them reconnect with their true Self, which is cosnidered the greatest healing force we have in the IFS model. With the expanded focus on Community, Consciousness, and Collaboration, we aslso acknowledge the broader context of healing, fostering a more connected, aware, and cooperative path toward wholeness that extends to out to communities, systems, and world-at-large.
With so much love, AGLOW
Stacy Ruse, LPC, RYT, EMDR & IFS Consultant
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AGLOW is a global hub for therapists and the world. Led by trauma expert Stacy Ruse, LPC provides training courses, consultation, and counseling services. Specializing in EMDR, IFS, Somatic, & Transpersonal therapies to inspire therapists and individuals alike.
Stacy Ruse, LPC, is an esteemed Evergreen EMDR & IFS-Institute Consultant, Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT), and founder of Aglow Counseling. Stacy teaches a therapeutic style characterized by the art of EMDR, IFS, and Somatic therapies with a transpersonal twist, transcending the conventional boundaries of traditional therapy. Her holistic approach acknowledges the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit, allowing individuals to tap into their innate resilience and ignite their personal transformation journey. As a trauma expert, national and international trainer, and clinical consultant, Stacy's approach is deeply rooted in trauma-informed methodologies.
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