In the realm of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, the power of Self-energy cannot beIn Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, the influence of Self-energy is profound and indispensable. As therapists, our ability to engage with clients from a place of Self-energy—marked by calm, compassion, and curiosity—shapes the entire therapeutic experience. This approach is not only crucial at the beginning of therapy or a session but remains essential throughout every stage of the healing process.
When we consistently come from Self, we create a therapeutic environment that fosters safety, trust, and openness. At the outset, this approach helps to establish a foundation of connection and security, inviting clients to explore their inner worlds with greater ease. However, the importance of Self-energy extends far beyond the initial stages. Whether we are navigating the complexities of deep-seated trauma, working through intense internal conflicts, or guiding clients toward self-leadership, the presence of Self-energy is a constant and stabilizing force.
At each stage of therapy, speaking from Self allows us to meet clients where they are, providing a compassionate and nonjudgmental space for their parts to be seen, heard, and understood. This consistent engagement from Self-energy not only supports the unblending of parts but also empowers clients to cultivate their own Self-energy. As they begin to access and lead from their Self, they gain the ability to navigate their internal systems with clarity, confidence, and compassion.
Ultimately, the power of Self-energy lies in its capacity to transform the therapeutic relationship into a collaborative journey of healing. By maintaining a strong connection to our own Self-energy and guiding clients to do the same, we lay the groundwork for deep and lasting change, ensuring that the therapeutic process is both effective and profoundly healing at every stage.
The Importance of Speaking from Self-Energy in IFS Therapy
Starting a session from Self-energy serves multiple purposes, all of which contribute to a more effective and compassionate therapeutic process. Here’s why this approach is so essential:
Establishing a Safe Therapeutic Relationship: The foundation of any successful therapeutic journey is trust. When we speak from Self-energy, we embody the qualities of calmness, curiosity, and compassion, which naturally creates a safe and welcoming space for the client. This helps clients feel seen, heard, and accepted—essential elements for building a strong therapeutic alliance.
Navigating Initial Resistance: It's not uncommon for protector parts within the client to resist relaxing or unblending at the beginning of therapy. By consistently embodying Self-energy, we can gently ease their concerns. When protectors feel appreciated and understood, they become more willing to step back, allowing for deeper exploration of the client's inner world.
Supporting Insight Work: The Insight Steps in IFS are crucial for building the client's distress tolerance and their capacity to navigate complex inner experiences. Speaking from Self-energy facilitates these steps by helping the client feel supported as they begin to notice, name, and engage with their parts.
Handling Polarizations and Overwhelm: In cases where the client experiences intense internal polarizations or overwhelming emotions, maintaining Self-energy allows us to hold space for all parts of the client. This not only helps in de-escalating intense emotions but also models for the client how to remain calm and centered in the face of internal conflict.
Steps to IFS Insight Work
As we guide our clients through the process of IFS therapy, certain steps are essential for cultivating insight and fostering healing. Here’s a breakdown of these steps and how they interconnect with speaking from Self-energy:
Therapist Self-Energy: The journey begins with us. Grounding ourselves in Self-energy is the bedrock of effective IFS therapy. Our presence, calmness, and compassion serve as a stabilizing force for the client, setting the stage for the entire session.
Insight Steps:
Notice: We guide the client to become aware of their internal experience, whether it’s a thought, feeling, or sensation. This step is about building awareness, a key component of insight.
Name: Without explicitly labeling parts, we encourage the client to describe what they’re noticing. This helps them start to connect with their inner experience in a meaningful way.
Curiosity: Inviting curiosity about the experience allows the client to engage with their parts in a non-judgmental manner. Curiosity opens the door to deeper understanding and connection.
Appreciation: Even when a protector part is not ready to relax or unblend, expressing appreciation for its role can help in befriending it. Acknowledging the protector’s intentions can reduce its defensiveness and pave the way for more collaborative work.
Patience: Healing is a process, and it’s important to recognize when the client and their parts may not be ready for deeper work. Patience allows us to honor the pace of the client’s inner system, ensuring that we don’t rush the process.
The Goal: Unblending Parts and Building Self-Energy in IFS Therapy
The ultimate aim of speaking from Self-energy and guiding clients through the Insight Steps is to help them unblend their parts and cultivate their own Self-energy. As clients develop a stronger connection to their Self, they become more capable of leading their internal system with calm, clarity, and compassion.
In the IFS model, the qualities of Self-energy are often described as the 8 C’s: Calmness, Curiosity, Compassion, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, Clarity, and Connectedness. However, to expand on this foundation, I (Stacy Ruse, LPC) have added three more essential qualities: Community, Consciousness, and Collaboration.
These additional C’s emphasize the importance of connection beyond the individual, recognizing that healing and growth are deeply intertwined with our relationships with others, our awareness of the larger world, and our ability to work together towards shared goals.
Community: Healing within the context of a supportive community enhances the therapeutic process, providing a network of care that reinforces the client’s journey toward self-leadership.
Consciousness: Developing a broader awareness of oneself and one’s place in the world fosters deeper insight and integration within the therapeutic process.
Collaboration: Working together, both within the internal system and with external supports, is key to sustaining progress and ensuring that the client’s healing journey is holistic and inclusive.
By integrating these 11 C’s into the therapeutic process, we guide clients toward a more comprehensive and connected experience of Self, enabling them to navigate their internal and external worlds with greater ease and confidence.
Conclusion
Speaking from Self-energy is not just a technique; it’s a way of being that profoundly impacts the therapeutic process. Whether we’re helping clients build distress tolerance, navigate internal polarizations, or simply establish a safe space at the beginning of therapy, our Self-energy is a vital tool. By grounding ourselves in this energy and guiding clients through the Insight Steps, we pave the way for deep and lasting healing, helping them reconnect with their true Self—the most powerful source of healing within. And with the expanded focus on Community, Consciousness, and Collaboration, we acknowledge the broader context of healing, fostering a more connected, aware, and cooperative path towards wholeness.
With so much love, AGLOW
Stacy Ruse, LPC, RYT, EMDR & IFS Consultant
Train w. me: www.aglowcounseling.com.courses
Sign up for Aglow Therapist News: bit.ly/3HUsF4X
AglowYoga (free practices): https://www.youtube.com/@aglowyoga
Find out on Social Media:
AGLOW is a global hub for therapists and the world. Led by trauma expert Stacy Ruse, LPC, providing courses, consultation, and counseling services. And newly added AglowYoga with free practices for all. Specializing in EMDR, IFS, Yoga, & Transpersonal therapies to inspire therapists and individuals alike.
Stacy Ruse, LPC, is an esteemed Evergreen EMDR & IFS-Institute Consultant, Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT), and founder of Aglow Counseling. Stacy teaches a therapeutic style that is characterized by the art of EMDR & IFS therapies with a transpersonal twist, transcending the conventional boundaries of traditional therapy. Her holistic approach acknowledges the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit allowing individuals to tap into their innate resilience and ignite their personal transformation journey. As a trauma expert, national and international trainer, and clinical consultant, Stacy's approach is deeply rooted in trauma-informed methodologies.
Comments